Eggs. Eggs everywhere. You may not notice, but you are surrounded by eggs.

You’ve probably heard of bird or chicken eggs, and if you went to kindergarten, you have definitely also heard of frog eggs. The way eggs are made has been disputed by scientists for years. Nobody knows exactly where they come from. We suspect that an older bird lays, or, preferably, poops them out. But even after countless attempts at analyzing bird habits, there is no documented evidence of anybody witnessing the laying of an egg.

There is only one group of people that hypothetically knows how egg-laying works: farmers. So we contacted a farmer to ask about how egg-laying works.

Here’s the transcription of the conversation:

[Call #1]

Farmer: “Hello?”

Me: “HELLO SIR HOW DO EGGS WORK”

Farmer: “What?”

[Call End]

Things didn’t exactly go as planned on the first call…or the second, or the third. To prove that I truly made an effort, here’s the transcription of the final phone call. If you’d like to hear the audio there’s a Youtube video floating around of it.

[Call #78]

Famer: Please, [Large gap in audio] stop contacting me. [Silence]

[Call end]

He hung up before I could think of a good response. How rude! I realized that maybe the reason he wasn’t giving an answer was that he didn’t have one prepared. So I decided to give him the rest of the day, and call back tomorrow.

When I called back, nobody answered. It looks like he changed his phone number. I guess these farmers are trying to hide their secrets from me. There’s no way to get through to them.

There’s only one more way we can figure out more about eggs. We have to go on Wikipedia. Wikipedia is a good source to learn about eggs in my opinion. So let’s look at the first paragraph on the wiki page for “Egg.”

“An egg is the organic vessel containing the zygote in which an embryo develops until it can survive on its own, at which point the animal hatches. A—ok so I’m going to have to stop the quote there. Clearly, I do not have the attention span to read this entire article. We’re going to have to figure out something else.

We’re going to have to go to the store and analyze an egg for ourselves. The issue is that I couldn’t afford a dozen eggs. Luckily, I just remembered that my local Goodwill sells eggs one by one in plastic baggies for 27 cents. I found 27 cents dropped on the floor inside the Goodwill, so I could just barely afford a singular egg.

I analyzed the egg under a microscope and suddenly, everything became clear. The meaning of life, why we dream, and if there is life outside of Earth. All I had to do was zoom in on this seemingly minuscule and random object, to achieve this wisdom. What you’re about to see will change the way you see the universe. Get ready.

An egg zoomed in

I know, right? it’s incredible. Just magnificent. I must just go take some time and appreciate this zoomed-in egg. I hope you have benefitted in a supernatural way from this blog post.

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