Garbage is like garbage but more garbagey. In other words, garbage is your waste. The stuff that you find no use for is technically garbage. Today, we will explore garbage.

Garbage, as I said about 2 sentences ago is your waste or refuse. It almost seems counterintuitive to write about trash, but it makes more sense if you think about it. This entire blog series is trash! But enough self-depreciation, because we all know that I’m the only reason this site gets any traffic. Anyway, we’re really struggling to keep on topic, and this is already a really strangely formatted blog post, so we have to get back to talking about this trash.

Considering garbage is such an obscure topic, you probably don’t even know what counts as garbage! Do not worry you, sweet, sweet child, for I have prepared a list for you. Things that are garbage include bones, banana peels, old papers, pLaStIc, and deflated balloons. There’s a lot more stuff that belongs in the garbage, but we can’t have the list be too long.

You might have noticed that we refer to “the garbage” like a proper noun. This is usually referring to the garbage can. This is a place where we keep all of our trash so that it doesn’t just stay laying around anywhere. Of course, trash cans have a tendency to…not smell great. It’s just the price to pay for not having it smell that bad everywhere.

You may have heard of the water cycle. Basically, the water goes up, and then it goes back down, and then it goes side to side, and that’s basically how bicycles are made! The trash cycle is pretty similar, but it’s not really a cycle, per se. It’s more like a proverbial conveyor belt, representing the transfer of garbage between parties.

In the first step, you create the trash, and that trash ends up in your personal trash can. When your trash can gets full, you have to take it out to your trash bin outside. That’s the second step. The third step is when the trash gets picked up by a garbage truck. The garbage truck takes the garbage to the dump, where it is dumped. And it stays dumped. And…oh yeah that’s the final step!

Another big problem is pollution and littering. Lazy people just leave their garbage wherever they want, with no concern for the environment.

But, I haven’t come to beg, I’ve come to bargain. Even if you don’t care about the forests, surely you’d care about the duckies. The duckies you see swimming at the park are being endangered by your negligence. How could you do this to those poor, innocent duckies? They haven’t harmed you, but there you are throwing your plastic bags at those duckies. Duckies don’t eat plastic because it has a very strange texture! Feed the ducks bread instead.

And if you don’t…

Then there will be a LOT of duckies taking refuge in your house.

And I don’t think you want a delivery of 500 duckies. Your health insurance would not cover most of them.

Thank you for listening to my lesson about garbage today! I look forward to speaking to you about more duckies later!

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