Boxes


Boxes are probably the most versatile and useful objects that exist in the mortal realm. It is my firm belief that we need a “National Box Appreciation Month” somewhere in the year so we can take the time to remember and acknowledge all of the boxes of the world. I propose February because for some reason it reminds me of the color brown, which is the same color as most boxes. It’s important to emphasize that only some boxes are brown. You can make boxes white, red, or even blue to add some flavor to your box!

Boxes are most commonly used as containers for…objects. You might criticize my vagueness but this actually highlights the beauty of boxes. You can use boxes to store food, clothing, bicycle handles, and your precious bottlecap collection. Just be careful that someone doesn’t throw away your precious bottlecap collection. In order to prevent someone from throwing away your precious bottlecap collection, you can label your boxes! Boxes are made of this special material called “box” which can easily be labeled with a special device called a “sharpie.” Better yet, while you write on the box, the sharpie will make an incredibly satisfying sound which uh, sounds nice I guess.

With Christmas coming around soon, you may have gift boxes on your mind. Yes, we will be selectively ignoring Thanksgiving just like some companies because it’s more profitable. Anyways, gifts are often put in these boxes that have special, Christmasy designs on them. Over these Christmasy designs, we add wrapping paper which has even Christmasier designs. The point of all of this wasteful plastic and paper is to conceal the surprise that is inside the box. The other point of all of this is because it’s fun. As we all know, fun is, while stupid, pointless, wasteful, and culturally insensitive, it is at the end of the day, fun!

You probably see more boxes in your life than you realize. Boxes are incredibly commonplace, and that’s a good thing. Boxes are incredible. So let’s go through some boxes that aren’t as appreciated as they deserve.

Tissue boxes are the bane of the sniffles. The sneezes, the sniffs, and the sniffy whiffies all fear this epic box which contains tissues. Tissues are a different subject, so let’s stay focused on the box. Tissues boxes are typically wider and flatter than the one pictured above. Since I hate inconsistency, here’s a “normal” box of tissues.

However, cube-shaped tissue boxes are obviously also beginning to appear, like in the first picture.

Next, we have box boxes. Box boxes are just like regular boxes but inside the box, there are more boxes and inside that box, there is another box that is smaller in size and inside that smaller box there is an even smaller box. Some may say that these are too many boxes but I say you can never have too many boxes! They are so incredibly perfect that it makes no sense that you wouldn’t want more boxes.

Finally, we have lunchboxes. In my opinion, lunch boxes are the best type of boxes because, in them, there is usually food. A lunch box is usually taken to school or work so that your food has a place to be stored in, and not be crushed by the elements. Better yet, usually inside these lunch boxes, there is another box that actually contains your food so that the lunchbox doesn’t crush your lunch.

Over this blog post, we’ve gone over a few types of boxes. It’s important to note, however, this is barely scratching the surface of the topic of boxes. You could see one, or even two more blog posts about boxes because boxes deserve that much of the limelight.

Since I have to get started with those blog posts, I must stop writing this one. And I will stop writing this blog post………now.

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