Doors are one of the most fundamental pieces of equipment ever invented in human history. Doors have a few key features that make them masterpieces. Doors have a simple yet elegant design: A rectangle about 4 feet in width and 15 feet in height, although this depends on the building’s size. Doors are firmly attached to a nearing wall by the side, allowing any door user to fluidly maneuver their door. But, how do you would you move your door in the first place? Unless you’ve eaten 20 popsicles in a row and the sticky juice runs down your hands, it’d be pretty hard to grip a flat, heavy rectangle. This is why the world’s mathematicians came together, to develop the handle! The handle allows any door user to grip the door, while not technically touching the door itself. The handle is the ultimate gateway between worlds, and what is responsible for open doors.

Image Credit: The Home Depot (thehomedepot.com)

Open doors and closed doors are very different and it is hard to argue which one is better than the other. However, in my personal opinion, an open door is objectively better than a closed door. So today we will be focusing on open doors.

There are many reasons why you’d need to open a door. Letting yourself or guests into a building is one reason. Depending on the type of door, the door my gently close on its own. Doors often found in a household may require you to push or pull the door back into the closed position. This sounds like a nuisance, but it isn’t all bad. You may want your door open for various reasons. You may be worried that you will run out of air when you close your door. Your room will become a vacuum, like in space. Except there are none of the cool zero-gravity benefits like in space. This is a logical concern, and while I was absent the day in science class they were talking about vacuums, I assure you that I did tons of online research to back up my theory.

You may leave a door open to let air in or out. On a hot day, it’s nice to feel a breeze from outside, or maybe you just enjoy the fresh air. On a cold day, however, you want to keep your doors closed so you can keep the heat in your house because nobody outside deserves the heat from your heater! Not a goose, not a moose, not the people riding past your house in a caboose (why is there a train anyway?). Now, there are some disadvantages when you open a door and just leave it wide open. It exposes the building to flies, bees, and other creatures from outside. If there is smoke outside, as it can be during fire season in California, then you also can’t have the door open, or else you’ll have smoke enter the building, which is suboptimal for your health.

Almost every good story has a conflict, and a protagonist, and an antagonist. If the mighty and powerful door is the protagonist, then the antagonist must be the window. The window is a dirty faker, stealing most of its features from the door. The only variation in its design is that it is built into and stays in a wall. Windows can be used to let in the fresh air, which sounds a little familiar, doesn’t it? Well, that’s because it’s stealing the exact perk from doors! And windows are smaller than doors so they cannot be reliably used to enter and exit buildings. Windows cheat by stealing ideas from the great doors and can never be trusted! This is why you must always keep 20 feet of distance between yourself and any window you see.

Stay safe and cautious, people.

And be careful around windows.

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