Rumor has it that if you travel to a mysterious place called “outside” you’ll encounter numerous amounts of a strange plant people called a “tree.” The tree trunk seems to hold a tree up and is covered by bark. Now I couldn’t care less about bark, but the most important part is the color of the bark, which is normally some boring brown color. I found this incredibly disappointing, but thankfully the tree extends up into branches, and that’s where we see the main star of a tree: the leaves.

At least, I thought it would be the main star of the tree. I was incredibly disappointed to find out that the leaves on the tree were green. I was at least hoping for some orange color, but as it turns out I have to wait for fall to start in full for the colors to change into something halfway decent. Ideally, the color of a tree would be blue or something….

So these are some ways we can try to objectively make the world’s trees better, by making them blue!

Now our first most obvious way to manipulate the way an object appears in terms of color is by applying a substance such as paint to the area.

Sounds simple enough! Just paint the tree blue! You can use spray paint as well if you’re one of those hip and cool degenerates who like defacing nature. Now we encounter a couple of problems when we attempt to paint the trees. Firstly, this probably isn’t that good for the trees, and secondly, you’d need a lot of paint. Trees can be pretty big, and I’m assuming that you’re trying to paint a medium-sized tree. And you can’t forget to paint the bark! Doing all of this work by hand can be tough, even if you’re using spray paint as I mentioned. Even if you had an endless supply of paint, the cans would surely accumulate and the last thing we want is to hurt the environment!

A real png image from topping.com

Next, we can try to release chemicals into the air which will change the tree’s genetics to the point of which its leaves and bark will turn blue, as well as every other tree that sprouts off from that tree. Now, I know this sounds like a farfetched concept, but this entire blog series is completely farfetched so you have to hear me out on this idea. First, you need to earn a Bachelor’s degree in mathametics, this is the easiest part of the entire process, the only bad part is that you’ll realize after you finish the 2-year course that you actually chose the wrong major so you have to start all over again, this time choosing chemistry. After you’ve casually taken the express course to become a chemist in *only* 4 years you can finally develop a chemical in your lab which allows us to finally reach our goal of turning the trees blue!
At least that’s all in theory…ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃˡˢᵒ ᵛᵉʳʸ ᵛᵃᵍᵘᵉ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵈᵒⁿ’ᵗ ˡᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵈᶦˢᶜᵒᵘʳᵃᵍᵉ ʸᵒᵘ.

I’ll leave on that note.

Thank you for reading!

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